Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, [and] for thy truth's sake. - Psalm 115:1
We love to share the story of Joseph's arrival. What a blessed time for us. All glory to God who has worked everything out in His perfect timing!
(To protect the privacy of Joseph's birth mother, I will use her first initial, "M", throughout this post. Additionally, certain sensitive or identifying details have been omitted.)
I am an organized person. I like structure, order, and well-thought out plans. Walking the path of an adoption journey will stretch anyone in this area! There are unpredictable twists and turns, unexpected delays and, sometimes (as in our case), a race to the finish line! At the same time, we trust that the entire process works out according to God's will.
After M selected our family to raise her unborn son, she was very thoughtful to include us in ultrasound appointments. Regular ultrasounds were ordered by her doctor due to some moderate risks with the pregnancy. In total, I attended three of the ultrasounds, though Jake could not due to his work schedule. Justin and Julia were able to attend two of those ultrasounds with me. With each ultrasound, we saw that Joseph was growing well.
The estimated due date was right around Christmas, however the doctor scheduled a December 19th induction. We were able to make arrangements with a family from church who offered to watch Justin and Julia during our hospital stay. I had the diaper bag ready to go by mid-November (remember, I like to be organized and prepared!) I started freezing meals in order to lighten the kitchen duties after we brought our little one home. I knew that as we got closer to the induction date, we would have the nursery completed and we would start to pack our bags.
On the evening of November 29th, nearly three weeks earlier than expected, we received a phone call that M was at the hospital and the doctor was trying to stop labor. We were told not to come right away, but to just be aware. We did not shift into frantic-mode, as we were thinking that the labor would be stopped. We were in touch with our agency and they suggested that we start packing our things. Suitcases came out of the attic, and we began to go through the motions of filling them with clothing and toiletries... still thinking all the while that we were probably not going anywhere that night.
After 10:00 p.m., the phone rang again and this time we were told that M was dilated to 4 cm and the doctor was no longer going to try to delay the labor process. This baby would likely be arriving soon!
Now things turned hectic. Jake thought we should be out the door in about twenty minutes. We had a long drive ahead of us (two hours to the hospital, plus the detour to our friends' house to drop off Justin and Julia). I was a bundle of nerves. What was I forgetting to pack? I want to take a shower first! Our friends are not expecting our children to arrive on this evening! And most importantly, will we make it in time for the delivery?
It was M's desire that we be very much included in the hospital experience. Her hospital plan had been thought through long before this night and everyone knew what to expect. As we piled into the truck and headed for the highway, I was full of anxious thoughts. We especially wanted to be there for Joseph's arrival, as M had hoped.
It was now after 11:00 p.m., and Jake called our friends. He woke them up and said, "I thought we should let you know we are on our way before we show up on your doorstep." They were very accommodating and started their own last minute preparations and knew to expect us sometime after midnight.
This was all very surreal and we still wondered if this might be a "false alarm". A short time later, Jake got a text message telling us that M was dilated further and was receiving the epidural. Now there was no question that Joseph would soon be here!
After midnight, when the date changed to November 30th, it suddenly struck us that it was officially Justin's birthday. We were amazed at the thought of our two sons sharing the same birthday!
We finally dropped the children off around 12:45, after being so warmly greeted by our friends in their robes and somewhat sleepy faces! We told the children to get some rest and that we would call them with an update in the morning.
By this time, we had received another text saying that M was afraid we would miss the birth. We sent a text in response to say that we should arrive by 1:30 a.m. and that we were doing our best to get there quickly. My heart was racing!
We pulled into the parking lot around 1:30. After making our way to the labor and delivery floor, we spoke briefly with the nursing staff. They had been expecting us and were prepared for our arrival. We spent a little time with M, and she was dilated to about 7 cm at that point. She was very concerned about Joseph being born a few weeks early. The nurses assured her that he should be fine. They were prepared to administer oxygen to him, if necessary. Earlier in M's hospital stay, she had been given an injection (steroid) to help with Joseph's lung maturation.
After a while, one of the nurses took us to the room where we would be staying. It was M's desire that I be in the delivery room and that Jake and I have our own separate room so that we could be the primary caregivers following the birth. The hospital staff embraced us and supported us according to M's wishes.
Labor stopped progressing and Jake was able to get some sleep for a couple of hours. I only nodded off for a few minutes, as my mind was too busy racing with anticipation. Around 4:30, we were told that M had been given oxytocin to encourage active labor again. We spent another hour or so with her at this time. She was clearly progressing as she had increased pain and had to focus on breathing through contractions. Around 5:30, we stepped into the hallway while the nurses checked her cervix and started to prepare for delivery. I was called back in to the room once she started pushing.
At 5:59 a.m., Joseph David was born. He did have the cord around his neck, so we give thanks to God for preserving his life! The doctor did a quick suction with the bulb syringe and he let out his first cry! Joseph's nurse observed him briefly on the warming table and saw that he was doing just fine without oxygen. Within a few minutes, she whisked him up and walked him down to our room. Jake and I watched as she did all of the early assessments and measurements. He was wrapped up and Jake held him first. Then he had a bath and I fed him a bottle.
We were in awe of this new little life. We were also exhausted! Yet, there was not to be any rest for the weary. It was time for me to take that shower and for us to get some breakfast, for we had a full day ahead of us...
I cannot disclose many details at this time, but there was a production team arriving because M's adoption story was being filmed for a documentary. We agreed to participate, so our next two days at the hospital were spent with producers, cameras, lights, and microphones wired to our clothing. (We will pass along more information as we are able).
Jake was able to speak with Justin and Julia early in the day and tell them about their new brother! In the afternoon, our sweet friend drove them to the hospital and they held Joseph for the first time. What a precious time for our family. It is so amazing to think that just a little over 9 months after our first meeting at the agency, we had a babe in arms!
After Justin and Julia left, M came down to see Joseph for the first time. She was not ready to hold him, but just wanted to get a glimpse of him and see how he was doing. Later that evening, she returned and we took photographs of her holding him. After a few moments, she said to him, "you need to go back to your mommy now." Thinking of her sweet sentiment still makes me cry every time! M was so amazingly courageous to trust us to raise her precious baby.
I did not get more than a few minutes rest that night, between the nurses coming and going and Joseph's little sounds, and bottles every 3 hours. (Jake made the long trek home each evening to check on the animals and to get some sleep before returning in the mornings... with Starbucks coffee and oatmeal for this tired mama!)
M was legally able to sign the paperwork relinquishing her parental rights at 24 hours post-birth. She was determined that she wanted to sign as soon as she could. The agency counselor arrived that morning of December 1st, along with the film crew, and they were in M's hospital room for quite some time. We were in our own room, continuing to care for Joseph. We sat at a small table in our room, drinking our morning coffee, when one of the producer's assistants came in to say that M had just signed. She had tears in her eyes and Jake and I became very emotional. We hugged and cried as we thought about Joseph's birth mother and the heartache that she must have been experiencing at that time (and knowing that she would continue to grieve for quite some time). It was bittersweet to think of her own pain while also giving thanks unto the Lord for the son that He added to our family.
M would be leaving the hospital that morning, and she was about to come down to our room to say goodbye to Joseph. I was wired with a microphone again and I tried to regain composure before she entered, but when she walked in crying, I just held her and we cried together. She gave us two small gifts for Joseph and thanked us. To think that she was thanking us! We assured her that he would always know that God loves him, that we love him, and that his birth mother loves him. Because this is an open adoption, she also knew that we would be maintaining contact with her through pictures and visits through the years. We are grateful that he will know the young woman who chose life and carried him and delivered him.
When she walked out, Jake and I clung tightly to one another and cried.
We had hoped to leave the hospital that day, as well. Yet, our state mandates that all newborns be screened for a variety of disorders at no less than 48 hours old. So, I slept at the hospital one more night (and actually got a few hours of sleep!) before we were to be filmed leaving the next morning.
The mandatory screening was completed right at 48 hours post-birth and we were free to change Joseph into his going-home outfit shortly after that. We got him strapped into his car seat and were in the truck a little while later. We were reunited with Justin and Julia and were soon on our way home... a family of five!
In the weeks since bringing Joseph home through adoption, I have recalled some parallels from Scripture:
* an only son has been given in a selfless act of love
* like Jesus' earthly father (Joseph), Jacob has embraced our Joseph as his own, and will raise him and train him accordingly.
* Joseph could do nothing to earn or deserve our love, and yet he is accepted and cherished nonetheless.
* God's own plan to rescue the souls of mankind is described as an adoption:
But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. - Galations 4:4-5
As Joseph grows, we hope that the story of his own earthly adoption will move his heart to receive the far greater adoption that God so freely offers.
We pulled into the parking lot around 1:30. After making our way to the labor and delivery floor, we spoke briefly with the nursing staff. They had been expecting us and were prepared for our arrival. We spent a little time with M, and she was dilated to about 7 cm at that point. She was very concerned about Joseph being born a few weeks early. The nurses assured her that he should be fine. They were prepared to administer oxygen to him, if necessary. Earlier in M's hospital stay, she had been given an injection (steroid) to help with Joseph's lung maturation.
After a while, one of the nurses took us to the room where we would be staying. It was M's desire that I be in the delivery room and that Jake and I have our own separate room so that we could be the primary caregivers following the birth. The hospital staff embraced us and supported us according to M's wishes.
Labor stopped progressing and Jake was able to get some sleep for a couple of hours. I only nodded off for a few minutes, as my mind was too busy racing with anticipation. Around 4:30, we were told that M had been given oxytocin to encourage active labor again. We spent another hour or so with her at this time. She was clearly progressing as she had increased pain and had to focus on breathing through contractions. Around 5:30, we stepped into the hallway while the nurses checked her cervix and started to prepare for delivery. I was called back in to the room once she started pushing.
At 5:59 a.m., Joseph David was born. He did have the cord around his neck, so we give thanks to God for preserving his life! The doctor did a quick suction with the bulb syringe and he let out his first cry! Joseph's nurse observed him briefly on the warming table and saw that he was doing just fine without oxygen. Within a few minutes, she whisked him up and walked him down to our room. Jake and I watched as she did all of the early assessments and measurements. He was wrapped up and Jake held him first. Then he had a bath and I fed him a bottle.
We were in awe of this new little life. We were also exhausted! Yet, there was not to be any rest for the weary. It was time for me to take that shower and for us to get some breakfast, for we had a full day ahead of us...
I cannot disclose many details at this time, but there was a production team arriving because M's adoption story was being filmed for a documentary. We agreed to participate, so our next two days at the hospital were spent with producers, cameras, lights, and microphones wired to our clothing. (We will pass along more information as we are able).
Jake was able to speak with Justin and Julia early in the day and tell them about their new brother! In the afternoon, our sweet friend drove them to the hospital and they held Joseph for the first time. What a precious time for our family. It is so amazing to think that just a little over 9 months after our first meeting at the agency, we had a babe in arms!
After Justin and Julia left, M came down to see Joseph for the first time. She was not ready to hold him, but just wanted to get a glimpse of him and see how he was doing. Later that evening, she returned and we took photographs of her holding him. After a few moments, she said to him, "you need to go back to your mommy now." Thinking of her sweet sentiment still makes me cry every time! M was so amazingly courageous to trust us to raise her precious baby.
I did not get more than a few minutes rest that night, between the nurses coming and going and Joseph's little sounds, and bottles every 3 hours. (Jake made the long trek home each evening to check on the animals and to get some sleep before returning in the mornings... with Starbucks coffee and oatmeal for this tired mama!)
M was legally able to sign the paperwork relinquishing her parental rights at 24 hours post-birth. She was determined that she wanted to sign as soon as she could. The agency counselor arrived that morning of December 1st, along with the film crew, and they were in M's hospital room for quite some time. We were in our own room, continuing to care for Joseph. We sat at a small table in our room, drinking our morning coffee, when one of the producer's assistants came in to say that M had just signed. She had tears in her eyes and Jake and I became very emotional. We hugged and cried as we thought about Joseph's birth mother and the heartache that she must have been experiencing at that time (and knowing that she would continue to grieve for quite some time). It was bittersweet to think of her own pain while also giving thanks unto the Lord for the son that He added to our family.
M would be leaving the hospital that morning, and she was about to come down to our room to say goodbye to Joseph. I was wired with a microphone again and I tried to regain composure before she entered, but when she walked in crying, I just held her and we cried together. She gave us two small gifts for Joseph and thanked us. To think that she was thanking us! We assured her that he would always know that God loves him, that we love him, and that his birth mother loves him. Because this is an open adoption, she also knew that we would be maintaining contact with her through pictures and visits through the years. We are grateful that he will know the young woman who chose life and carried him and delivered him.
When she walked out, Jake and I clung tightly to one another and cried.
We had hoped to leave the hospital that day, as well. Yet, our state mandates that all newborns be screened for a variety of disorders at no less than 48 hours old. So, I slept at the hospital one more night (and actually got a few hours of sleep!) before we were to be filmed leaving the next morning.
The mandatory screening was completed right at 48 hours post-birth and we were free to change Joseph into his going-home outfit shortly after that. We got him strapped into his car seat and were in the truck a little while later. We were reunited with Justin and Julia and were soon on our way home... a family of five!
In the weeks since bringing Joseph home through adoption, I have recalled some parallels from Scripture:
* an only son has been given in a selfless act of love
* like Jesus' earthly father (Joseph), Jacob has embraced our Joseph as his own, and will raise him and train him accordingly.
* Joseph could do nothing to earn or deserve our love, and yet he is accepted and cherished nonetheless.
* God's own plan to rescue the souls of mankind is described as an adoption:
But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. - Galations 4:4-5
As Joseph grows, we hope that the story of his own earthly adoption will move his heart to receive the far greater adoption that God so freely offers.
17 comments:
This is an absolutely beautiful story! Thank you for taking the time to share it with us all.
What a blessing to be able to see the parallels of your story in scripture. God's lovingkindnesses are amazing.
With affection and prayers - Robin
I pray your story will inspire many others to choose life and to receive life into their families. Praise God for the courage of Joseph's bio. mom and for your willingness to step out in faith.
I have tears streaming down my face.
Joseph is a blessed little boy, and I am so happy to see God's love poured out to him and his mother through this adoption.
Amazing, touching story. I cannot imagine the strength and sacrifice that was required of Joseph's birth mom. Wow. You are incredibly blessed!
Dear Jessica, I am so touched and the tears are running free! The parallels to the what the Father has done for us are unmistakable! I trust this will bless many, many people!!
Would you consider allowing me to publish it on my blog sometime with a link to your blog? I would write a small encouragement asking for families to listen to whether the Lord might have them seek adoption someday. Our two failed adoptions make this especially poignant for me :) You are all indeed blessed!!
Sure Jackie, you may post the story on your blog. We would love to encourage others to consider adoption!
What a beautiful, brave and moving story. My heart swells with praise for God. I, too, pray that Joseph's story will inspire others!
Blessings to you and you sweet family
Jenn
What a truly beautiful story. It is amazing the ways that God works. Thanks for sharing your heart warming saga.
Well good gravy you had me with kleenex!!!! I am adopted at 2.5 yrs old with my first memory being my nana :) It was a closed adoption but I have since met her and she is a sweetie. I had a beautiful life... I adopted my son Jacob at birth when I was stationed in Montana. I was blessed to be able to go to all Dr appts, ultrasounds, etc. Ours is an open adoption and he is a happy, healthy 4 year old now. God blesses and put us where he needs for us to be in life!
Dear Jessica and family,
We love you guys so much!! Thank you so much for allowing me to share your amazing story on Deep Roots At Home. I can't wait until I can hold Joseph...hope to see you Sunday, God-willing, with the snow :) Many blessings to you all.
What a lovely story! brave girl to choose life and make sure her son had a good family to bring him up! Blessings, Glenys
I just saw your story; adoption is the most beautiful and loving gift that a mother can give to another. Your story brings wonderful hope to those that are in the process.
Was lovely reading your story. It's such an emotional journey to go on, especially the moment one mother hands a child to another knowing she may never see them again. I have made it a point to take our son back to Korea one day to meet his foster mother and also find his mother if that's what he chooses to do. It's a blessing to care for someone elses child that entrusted them to you. Congrats on your beautiful baby boy :)
What a beautiful, beautiful story! Thank you for sharing so openly!
Just stopped by through the link you left when you stopped by our blog Goodness and Grace . . . thank you for inviting me to take a peek into your life. I so was encouraged and appreciated your openness to share it with me. I loved seeing how the Lord is growing and changing your family to be the one He has for you. Blessings to you and praise to our Father in Heaven . . . - Kristi (friend of the Whalens too :)
Actually had to get the kleenex box after reading this one! It brings back a lot of memories of our adoptions; the joy of it all along with so many emotions for the birthmother. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story.
What a beautiful story, both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. What an amazing brave birth mother Joseph had. I can't imagine what that sweet young lady went through. You and your family are so blessed (and are such a blessing!) thank you for sharing. Excuse me while I replace the entire box of Kleenex I just used...
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